Updated: Oct 30
Looking for the mate of a lifetime can be an exhausting task. You are battling it out with your will power and the bad patterns that have kept you from having that lasting relationship. It all can be so intense that your rigorous, disciplined aura of wanting to find the love of your life is turning every man, including the right one, in the other direction. You might just be appearing too high maintenance and frigid for anyone to get close. If this is sounding like you then it’s time to stop trying so hard and just fling it! You heard me, release yourself of some of your rules and rigors and just have a fun, slice-of-life fling.
As for the guy or girl you pick for your slice-of-life outing? Well, I’m not sure if I should be the one to rattle off criteria, but I would say you may want to choose someone based more on an instinctual, passion-filled level rather than the person having the exact lifestyle habits, job stability, or other usual important factors that you've been hounding to find. However, you don’t want a drug addict either—safety is key! Remember that the main purpose for even having a fling is for you to get out of your head and explore a different angle of who you are. Go to the other end of the spectrum so that you have a more balanced and empowered approach to your continued search for the love of your life.
Find a short and sweet arrangement that snaps you back into the fun and free version of yourself that you may have forgotten, but do beware of falling into another loser attachment. As much as you want to ignore some rules, you don’t want to set yourself back emotionally. With that in mind, it may be wise for you to limit your fling to just a couple of meetings, if not just a (safe!) one night stand. You want to pick someone that you most likely won’t become attached to. This means finding someone that you probably would never take seriously for a long-term commitment, or one to bring home to Mother for that matter. Another way to avoid an unsafe attachment is to create an inconvenience to your exploration and go to a different part of town, or the city over. This way you can get out of what you’re used to and meet different types of people, as well as maintain a safe distance from your usual life. Most importantly, you need to recognize that your heart can’t always tell it’s a fling, so you definitely need to have a strong awareness of what you want out of the person you pick and that you both are well aware of what is commencing.
Basically, a spring fling could actually give you the confidence that launches you into that power attraction zone, leading you closer to your ultimate match. So why not take a quick moment for a round of putt-putt instead of sweating over trying to make it to the 18th hole in one shot? Go ahead and fling it!
Originally published in In the Scene Magazine