Is it me, or has letter writing become literally LETTER writing? I have come across many emails (since we all know “letter writing” is of a virtual matter now) that have taken on a shorthand that is troubling to say the least: “I soure think u r bewtyfull. And if u want i will soure have babys with u.”
Yes, this was an actual e-mail I received from an admirer, which I had to read twice before I could fully believe that this person thought I would seriously consider starting a family with him based on this email. I'm all for Hooked on Phonics, because we all learn differently, but the other end of spelling is knowing what you need to write in order to make connections with other people. I get nervous for this guy because I don't think he has any idea how bad his email was. Or maybe I'm surprised he felt he was giving me his best elevator pitch pick-up line. A new-fangled rendition of the classic "I like long walks on the beach" as an attempt at romantic 'poetry' that would entice me to want more.
I get nervous that as much as Hooked on Phonics is a great tool, maybe it's not so great when people don’t know they're not writing intelligibly, with or without spelling on their side. Regardless, the truth of the matter is that it is happening, and I'm pointing it here and now so maybe guys can actually up their game in their attempt to prove they got game.
I definitely take into consideration the new norm of shorthand writing that's been born out of cell phones and texting. The acronyms and cryptic short-hand informalities that happen in texting due to the shear fact that typing and driving at the same time is difficult, when it's also 'imperative' to smoke, shift gears, and change the radio station in order to make typing and driving a little more bearable... What I don't understand is how this shorthand text-writing of cracked-out phonetic, broken English became okay for everyday emails?
There seems to be a basic, interpersonal formality that has been forgotten when people get online and attempt to form new connections. Respect is the forgotten formality. Respect not only for the language that enables us to connect, but also respect in oneself to put the “best foot forward” when trying to forge a new relationship.
It seems like some people truly forget they aren't physically in front of a person, where their body language, speech patterns, style, etc. can be used to fully present themselves, their intentions, their character. All there is when cyber meeting another person is proper grammar, spelling, and how a sentence is phrased for someone to connect with another. In cyberspace, people don’t have the luxury of looking at the person to accurately gauge really anything.
It is sad to think there are people who have no clue why they aren’t getting return emails and connections. So, with this article I hope to shed light for some, and bring attention to the idea that although a thesis-like email isn’t necessary to start a new friendship online, basic grammar and spelling (even just a spell check before you send) are a must. Especially if you're trying to profess your commitment to having “babys” with someone you haven't met yet.
Originally published in In the Scene Magazine. (No longer in circulation.)
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